I am sad...
Obama won the election but I haven’t passed this fucking course yet. ..
Why everyone thinks it is gonna be better for Iran since Obama got the office? LMAO
I am not in mood to make intellectual notes..it is just some random stuff.
Life is going on smoothly. I have learnt a lot. Some hard lessons that brought me into my knees but I rose up again. Fucking hell… was it really worth of my tears and the pain I was causing myself? I just figured out… nothing comes easy… I am just learning not to be the fool I was. I gave up trusting people. There is no need for trust when you are not sharing anything. I will keep my heart for myself… screw the rest.
Just sometimes I am bothered by the fact that how I possibly loved someone who is the unique symbol of assholeness? I am still doubtful whether he helped me afterwards to feel less guilty or he is really a good guy… On the other hands, I could not be so wrong for such a long time... or they say love is blind.. To be honest I really didn’t give him much either...so we are even now?!!
Grey Amsterdam...there are still some lovely stuff in it… some cute smart rugby players(never knew they are making any of them!).. ja ja ja..I am loving it… wish could get more of it..but I am afraid I am gonna fall in love…then it is gonna be the same old story..crying worried Tee!
I am going to see my folks sometime soon ..First wanna see “M”..fucking bastard .. I miss him so much..
Life is merely good.
Thanks people… friends and everyone!
I will dance on the graves of those who make me unhappy…
I want to wake up and just realize it was a nightmare and he is gonna knock on my balcony door…I just wanna wake up..
It hurts the most not even get to have a decent goodbye... How could he? How could he hurt me so much…maybe I did the same… and I didn’t notice…
I don’t want to hate him. I don’t want to be angry at myself either that I am the one who killed everything gradually...when did he stop loving me? Did he ever love me?
I wasn’t ready for that and I didn’t see it coming…when I saw Meno’s message: “that ıs always easy tee, no acts or articles of love, no constitution... love is like before civilization.. anarchism, nothing to do about that... then in that case u`d better listen Pink Floyd’s two songs: final cut & nobody home..”.. he made me wonder.. yea he is right.. he is so fucking right..
I would have died without Azin… she saved me... oh my, she saved me.
I’ll be fine.. I’ll be fine keep saying that to myself.
Amsterdam is as gray as ever . I am so fucking empty inside.I am feeling like I am gonna lose the game again. I thought I could rely on what I found here …thinking of all the beautiful things I killed to get here…I am so dead tired of trying all over again...so hopeless…