I want to wake up and just realize it was a nightmare and he is gonna knock on my balcony door…I just wanna wake up..

It hurts the most not even get to have a decent goodbye... How could he? How could he hurt me so much…maybe I did the same… and I didn’t notice…

I don’t want to hate him. I don’t want to be angry at myself either that I am the one who killed everything gradually...when did he stop loving me? Did he ever love me?

I wasn’t ready for that and I didn’t see it coming…when I saw Meno’s message: “that ıs always easy tee, no acts or articles of love, no constitution... love is like before civilization.. anarchism, nothing to do about that... then in that case u`d better listen Pink Floyd’s two songs: final cut & nobody home..”.. he made me wonder.. yea he is right.. he is so fucking right..

I would have died without Azin… she saved me... oh my, she saved me.

I’ll be fine.. I’ll be fine keep saying that to myself.

FED UP

I am so stressed with this bloody paper. I have to finish it till 12th....

K:Hey, there is something about Iranian NY times..check it out: Tehran warns west against attack

T:There is always something about Iran on the news... the Midget won't give up the fucking nuke thingy!

I don't know what I am gonna do... it is getting too much..worries of losing "K"..not finishing this fucking master degree...not finding a job ( I had three hard core interviews with Philips..still no avail)..I am already short in money..have to do something.
Everyone is like "girl, don't go back to Iran" there is nothing left there..and I hate to hear those kinds of crap over and over..I fucking miss everything there...


Back to work...politics sucks..being me sucks...I hate Conferences that take a week long...